ana15a

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A ray of Light


The Dr had some very good news for Anna & Zach. She was pregnant.

It had been 2 months since Baby Xena had passed away & Anna was 6 weeks pregnant. Anna was not planning on going through with this marriage let alone  a baby. She was in shock. But in respect of Xena’s memory, she owed this new baby all that she could give her. A mother and father who are together and happy, regardless of the circumstances.

The pregnancy, however, was high risk. Anna’s emotional state as well as physical condition after the cesarian section had to all been taken into account and the risks of loosing this baby was very high. She was on strict bedrest. No stress of any kind, be it emotional or physical. Anna, Zach and their respective families wanted to give this new life everything of the best that they could afford, however the circumstances weren’t ideal on a number of levels.

Firstly, it was really difficult for Zach to find a job. He tried and tried. Nothing lasted more than 3 weeks and he eventually gave up hope. The money that they had saved up for Xena in the UK was slowly getting finished. To make matters worse, Zach bought a second hand car that was over 15years old & wanted to recondition it. This really made Anna see red – as everyday there was something that the car needed. Petrol, parts, service. It was costly and they were on limited funds.

Anna now fully depended on Haddie & Derek for all her financial needs. Clothes, food, etc. She resented the entire situation. Thought of Guy and the fact that she could have been with the man that she wanted, but no. She was stuck in a loveless marriage, with someone she had nothing in common with and she was having his baby.

Anna missed her little Xena terribly. There wasn’t a day that she didn’t pine for her baby. There wasn’s a day that she stopped the tears from flowing. She needed her child, but she also needed some sort of support for all this trauma from Zach. His answer had not changed. “Anna, she is gone. Let her be. Forget about her. The tears are futile. Get over it.”

Anna felt that Zach resented the situation and resented what she felt for their dead daughter. She really wish she could somehow speak to Guy, reach out to him. He had always been her best friend and he understood her when she was in pain. But she could not hurt him by telling him she was again pregnant with Zach’s child. It would kill Guy. Rather keep him in the dark and away from all these problems. He was safer there. She treasured their memories instead and those kept her smiling through the day.

Yes, it was all unfair on Anna and this new baby. But Anna needed a ray of hope. She didn’t have much to live for except this pregnancy. Slowly, she began accepting the situation and she began loving this new life. Time and time again, Zach pined for their life in the UK and tried to convince Anna to go back to their old home. Anna, however, felt shut out from Zach’s life. Most days, she couldnt bare to be in the same room, let alone go to another country away from Haddie & Derek. Haddie and Derek supported her and were her sounding boards. Without them, she wouldn’t have the strenght to wake up in the morning each day, let alone build a life in a different continent far away from them.

At 3 months, the Dr did the Down’s syndrome scan for Anna. She wanted Anna to have a good pregnancy. Anna was so happy that her baby was healthy, that was all that mattered. She really did not want to know the gender of the baby (although secretly she wanted a little boy). She knew that this baby wouldn’t take Xena’s place nor was he/she a replacement or filling in a space. All babies come with their fate and blessings. This one was not going to be different. Either way, Anna felt blessed to have another life growing inside of her.

Zach, however, was dying of curiousity and wanted to talk to his baby with a name.

Zach “It’s a girl, isn’t it Dr?”

Dr : “How did you know, Zach?”

The surprise was gone in an instant. Another girl. Anna was terrified. All the memories of Xena came back. Anna wept all the way home. She tried to tell herself that this was definitely going to be a new start. A new little girl. Little girls are blessings to everyone. With their pink outfits and rosy smiles. Anna looked for a lot of positives in the situation and forced herself to have the strength to give this baby the happiest start in life.

Anna’s pregnancy went without glitches, except for the usual morning sickness and heartburn which is normal. She enjoyed the kicks of the little girl growing inside of her, wondering what she would be like. Every morning when she woke up, she thanked the Almighty for a new baby, a new blessing and a chance to be the mother that she wanted to be to Xena. That prayer and hope kept her going through the day. She even decided to make amends with Zach and work on their marriage for the sake of both their babies.

The Dr had decided that Anna should have the new baby through elective cesarian. Anna didn’t say no. She wanted a healthy baby, regardless of the means. The date was set and it was almost time. Three weeks before the baby’s due date, however, Zach’s grandmother passed away. Anna and Zach had not yet settled on a name and because Anna loved Zach’s grandmother so much – she decided that when the baby came, she would name her after his Grandma.

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February 1, 2011 - Posted by | Uncategorized

7 Comments »

  1. I suppose that I should have expected it to be another baby. So, I know that the main thing would be for the baby to be healthy but I’m hoping that the doctor is wrong and Anna gets her wish 🙂

    Comment by Arriyetti | February 1, 2011 | Reply

  2. and what exactly is Anna’s wish?? LOL

    Comment by ana15a | February 1, 2011 | Reply

  3. That she gets a little boy. Lol, it’s your story.

    Comment by Arriyetti | February 2, 2011 | Reply

  4. LOL
    Sometimes.. what we want isnt always what we need hey 😛

    Comment by ana15a | February 2, 2011 | Reply

  5. True I suppose. Little Butterfly sounds lovely. I thought she was going to named after her granma? What happened?

    Comment by Arriyetti | February 2, 2011 | Reply

    • names have been changed all along.. 😛

      Comment by ana15a | February 2, 2011 | Reply

  6. Yes, that’s what I figured 🙂

    Comment by Arriyetti | February 3, 2011 | Reply


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